To better understand the way we function, it’s worth it to take a look at the model by Robert Dilts. The pyramid describes the way people function and presents a scheme for making changes. It’s a useful tool in the work of a coach, but you can also check out on your own what your goal looks like in terms of all areas listed on the pyramid. Thanks to this, you will be able to broaden your perspective and that can help you to better prepare for change.

OK then, let’s do it! Find a few minutes just for yourself, take a clean piece of paper, a pen and then:

  1. Choose your goal; if you don’t have one, think about what matters in your life right now, what challenge are you facing?
  2. Divide the piece of paper into two parts (a table); label one column “as is” and the other “to be”.
  3. Fill in the table in accordance with levels from the Dilts model, answering the following questions:



Who do you surround yourself with? How does it affect your goal? What situations do you experience? How do they support the fulfilment of your goal? How does your goal affect your environment?



Who should you surround yourself with to achieve your goal? What situations should you experience to achieve it? How can you influence your environment to support the fulfilment of your goal?


BEHAVIOR – as is

What are you doing now? What do you take care of? How does this support you in achieving your goal?


BEHAVIOR – to be

What should you be doing in order to achieve your goal? What should you take care of?



What can you do? How does this support you in achieving your goal?



What do you need to learn? Whose skills can you make use of to achieve your goal?



What do you currently believe in in the context of your goal? Why is it important for you to achieve it? Which of your values is pushing you in that direction?



What do you need to believe in to be able to achieve your goal? Which of your values will this faith come from? Which of your beliefs are pushing you forward, and which are holding you back? Which beliefs do you need to change and what will this change give you?


IDENTITY – as is

Who are you? How does who you are affect the need to achieve your goal?


IDENTITY – to be

Who do you need to become in order to achieve your goal?



What is your life mission? What is your purpose in the world? How does this affect the goal you have set for yourself?



How will the achievement of your goal affect your mission? How will its fulfilment support your purpose in the world?

Ready? If yes, take a moment to reflect and then take action by carrying out your action plan for the nearest future. At best, make it specific with precisely timed tasks for you to fulfil in order to get closer to achieving your goal.

You can find the above exercise and more information on what is really important to us in life in the article by Beata Mosór-Szyszka and Małgosia Leduchowska, recently published in Coaching magazine. If you haven’t read it yet, we encourage you to take a look: